I Thought I Knew What I Wanted. Then I Left Without Knowing Why.

It had been nearly three years working as an Account Manager since I’d asked for divine assistance in finding a job. And things were going well. I’d just secured a promotion. I was stepping into a Key Account Manager role, one of the most senior positions in the company. Out of 40-odd account managers in Victoria, most were chasing what I had just landed.

I’d worked hard. I had results behind me. I pitched for the role, and I got it.

But I wasn’t happy.

I had everything I thought I’d wanted, a senior title, financial freedom, respect. But something was wrong. Deeply wrong. Inside, I was suffering. The path I was walking wasn’t mine. This lifestyle, this identity, it didn’t fulfil the deepest part of me.

I had been blessed with what I thought I wanted, but it would still be many years before I understood: I didn’t actually know what was best for me. I had to surrender. I had to let God guide the direction — not my mind, not my ambitions, not what looked good on paper.

The suffering got so loud that I began to self-destruct from within. I knew I had to leave. If I stayed, nothing would change. I was stagnating. The decision was made.

I quit.

My parents told me they were disappointed, again.

Friends asked if I was alright.

I’d spent close to ten years working for this company across different roles.

And I was walking away without a safety net, without a plan.

None of them could believe it.

He’s done it again, they said.

He’s left another job.

But I couldn’t explain it something deep within had pushed me out.

Who would understand that God was calling me to move?

That it wasn’t recklessness… it was obedience.

My boss thought I’d regret it. I’d heard from colleagues that senior management believed I’d eventually come back and ask for my role again. The door was left open. I had a four-week notice period, but deep down I knew, I wasn’t sticking around that long.

And honestly, there were other things that had left a bad taste in my mouth.

Two people who had done the role before me ended up with serious heart issues.

Another guy doing the job at the time told me outright that he hated it.

There was no support.

Just pressure and performance.

I was told,

Stick it out for two years and we’ll move you elsewhere in the business. 

I asked what would be done to ease the burden in the meantime.

It’ll be sorted, they said.

Corporate talk. I knew it well.

And if my health failed? If I had a breakdown? They’d move on. Another body in the seat.

So I walked.

My manager called to check in. “Are you okay?” he asked.

“I am,” I replied.

But I didn’t explain the why. I just said I was okay.

He paused and said again, “No, seriously. I’m seriously asking are you okay?”

He couldn’t understand what was happening. How it had all happened so suddenly. He wanted to understand. But I had no answer. The truth was I didn’t understand it either.

I was asked to attend a state sales meeting, a final send-off of sorts.

I didn’t want to go. But I did.

I attended the meeting at the request of my boss. The room was full with over a hundred people. One of the senior managers stood up and spoke about how much the business cared about our wellbeing. If anyone was struggling, he said, they should speak up.

I sat there fuming.

What about me? What about my health? What about the two guys who’d been in this role before and had to leave because of serious heart issues? What about the guy who told me just days ago how much he hated the job but had no support?

It was bullshit. And I knew it. I never should have come to that meeting.

After the presentation, I left.

I caught an Uber home to collect my car, grabbed my laptop and a few other bits and pieces from my room, and by the time I got back to the office, the word had already spread. One of my colleagues must’ve told my boss that I was done. He went straight to I.T. and had my work phone blocked. I think he assumed I was going to a competitor but I wasn’t.

My corporate career was over.

And I was the one who ended it.

The next day, he called me on my personal number. I told him clearly: I was resigning, effective immediately. I said I couldn’t stomach the bullshit that had been spoken at the meeting. The words didn’t match the reality.

He asked if I wanted him to pass that feedback up the chain.

I said no. I didn’t care and I knew they wouldn’t either.

I had no next move. No new job lined up. No plan. No safety net.

But I let go fully, completely.

And I handed it all over.

To the only one I truly trust.

God.

And He heard me.

He always does.

God never abandons those who are sincerely called to follow the truth within.

Ever.