Cruising, Collies and the Joy of the Open Road

Collies ride Shotgun

Once the Covid pandemic passed, I finally started taking the car out regularly. Most weekends, sometimes twice. I’d cruise from Prahran down to the Peninsula or head the other way along Beach Road all the way to Port Melbourne and back.

Always with my collie, Zep.

He loves the car. He shifts between the front seat and the back, sometimes curling up for a nap. But mostly, he rides with his whole head out the window, soaking in the wind, mouth open, ears flying, tongue flapping. When we pull up at the lights, people can’t help but smile. The car turns heads on its own, but Zep just adds to the show.

My sister-in-law’s mum had been asking me for ages to take her for a spin.

“Just tell me when,” I kept saying.

It didn’t happen until her birthday one year. My sister-in-law messaged me the night before asking if I’d take her mum out. I said sure — we were all going out to dinner anyway.

Over dinner, she asked me gently, “Would you mind going slightly over the speed limit?”

I laughed. “I’ll make sure I’m slightly over the speed limit,” I promised.

She had a knack for saying the most unexpected things.

One Christmas, our families were all together at my parents’ house for lunch. It had gone quiet for a moment, and suddenly, she turned to me across the table and said:

“Hey Chris, how’s the masturbation going?”

The whole room froze. My sister-in-law’s dad’s jaw hit the floor.

I looked at her. “Do you mean meditation?”

“Oh yeah,” she nodded.

“Well, it’s going great. Thanks for asking.”

Everyone burst into laughter. I was crying. That’s my family, funny without trying.

The next day I picked her up and took her for a long drive, about an hour and a half. And yes, I made sure to drive just slightly over the limit, just for her.

Later, my sister-in-law messaged me: “You made her day. Thanks for being so generous.”

Honestly, it wasn’t a big deal. I don’t need much of an excuse to take the car out.

Another time, a mate of mine mentioned his dad loved my car, always had a thing for them growing up. I told him, “No worries. I’ll take him for a drive.”

So I picked him up, and we cruised for ages.

On the way back, he looked at me and said, “Mate… I’ve been waiting my whole life for this moment.”

I was overjoyed.

It’s not about the speed or the engine or the shine. It’s about what it brings out in people.

In December, I’ll be back in Melbourne for a month to see family and friends.

But I’ll make sure to carve out time for a few drives down Beach Road with Zep beside me, head out the window, wind in his fur, and peace in our hearts.